Lawless: Where the Wild Roses Grow, ch.6

I must've been insane to actually do this.

But the boys need to know. An inward voice told me. As I kept telling myself this, it couldn't untie the nagging knot that was in the pit of my stomach. It had begun to form after we had left Hodges's home and Charley had gone out for the time being. As I sat alone in motel room for several days, I mulled over the raging thoughts and decisions inside my head.

Did I, or did I not go over to Blackwater station, and tell them about my husband's threat?

I walked along the dusty pathway that would lead me to where the Bondurants resided. I believed that it would've been wiser of a decision if I didn't take any kind of vehicle. I would be able to take any of the shortcuts and turns that I knew of if I spotted Charley or any of his men. Besides, I didn't mind the long walk over to Blackwater. It was quite nice, peaceful even. I had almost forgotten how beautiful Franklin was in the fall. It was midday, the only time I could be out to do this little 'quest'. If Charley treated this job like he did in Chicago, then I know that he's going to be out for a while. Perhaps because of the extensive work in the job , he would be away longer; however, I couldn't trust that single yet hopeful thought, no matter how much I wanted to. For now, I would be fine until it reached past five.

Being outside amazed me for a split second. I took off my sunhat and sighed in bliss. I felt the breeze run through my body and hair, the sun slowly warming me up. I couldn't believe that this could make me feel so content. There was no husband and iron grip hold, no smog filled and bullet singing Chicago life. Everything felt so peaceful. I could actually breathe without worrying about someone looming over me.

For that brief moment, I felt free.

As I neared the Blackwater Station, my heart began to flutter. Perhaps this was a bad idea. I was afraid about how they would react to me showing up all of sudden. Would all of them be there? How would Jack and Howard react when they see me? Jack probably wouldn't remember me. He had only been seven when I left. Howard I had no doubt would remember, but if I remembered right and if they still did that routine, he and Forrest would probably be at the distillery that was hidden among the woods to check on things. Just by the mere thought, I almost had the nerve to turn back around and go back to the motel, but I stood my ground and continued onward.

Inside the station was dark and cool. I simply stood in the doorway, adjusting my eyes to the scenario. I was gratefully relieved to know that there wasn't much business that day. There was only the occasional drunk asleep in the booth, and one in the near far corner listening to a radio. As I stepped inside, I watched a black man finish washing the dishes then going into a storage room. The woman from earlier called Maggie was reading what looked to be a magazine and smoking a cigarette. For a moment of observing her, I almost thought that I had seen her before I had first arrived back home. It was a silly notion, but she looked like one of those dancing girls back in the Chicago clubs Charley would unwillingly take me to. I shook my head at the absurd thought. With my raised high, I walked towards the counter. The man who had already come back from the storage room approached me.

"Can I help you Miss?" He asked. Maggie slightly glanced at the customer, and looked quite surprised when she saw me. I ignored her and smiled politely at the man.

"Yes. Would you happen to know if a Forrest Bondurant is here?"

"He's not here at the moment."

"Do you know when he might be back?"

"He don't really keep regular hours."

"But if you had to guess?" He regarded me for a moment, not sure what to think of me and why I needed to speak to his boss.

"Please, if it isn't too much trouble? There's something I would like to speak to him about." The man sighed.

"I'd guess he'd be in any time now," he said. I smiled gratefully at the man.

"Thank you. I'll just wait here then." He shrugged then went back to work. I slid onto one of the counter's seats and waited.

"Would you like something to hold you over?" I looked to see that the redheaded woman was no longer looking at her magazine.

"No thank you," I shook my head, but then thought of something when I saw the cigarettes between her red painted fingers. "Actually, there is something that I would like. Do you mind if I could have one those? It's been awhile since I had one."

She seemed quite surprised by my initial request but recovered quickly, and took one out and lighted it for me.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it. You know you don't look like the kind of lady who would take a fag."

"Well you know the saying 'don't judge a book by its cover," I smirked after taking a drag. "I'm a lot more then I look."

"I bet." She smirked. She extended her hand to me and said, "I'm Maggie."

"Rosalie." It got quiet between us until Maggie spoke again.

"Excuse me for asking mam, but what is it you needed to speak to Forrest about?"

"Well when you put it that way, I don't really have to speak to him." I chuckled lightly. "Any of the boys will do."

"And it's about?"

"Merely a matter of importance."

"Does your husband have you like go on secret missions or something?" She joked.

"No," I replied, thought I couldn't help grinning. "No. This is more like something I felt like I needed to do."

"Ah," Maggie nodded her, though still looked like she was curious about what this 'matter of importance' could be. It looked like she was going to say something else when a voice cut through the bar, "Hey Maggie!"

I turned my head to see a young, scraggly looking man toward the counter. He had dirt and grime all over his brown hair and clothes, but it couldn't hide the excited look on his face.

"Maggie you never gonna guess what happened in town-"

"Not now Jack, I'm working-" Jack?

"Jack?" I asked the young man in front of me, startling him slightly. This couldn't be the same Jack Bondurant back from all those years ago, could it?"

"Can I help you, Miss…?" He asked, looking unsure about what to do. I could only smile a huge grin.

"I know that you probably don't remember me," I whispered. "But my family and I used to be good friends with yours. Does… does the name Rose ring any bell to you?"

The wheels in his head looked to be turning as looked at me and thought of the words that I had said. Finally, it looked like it clicked when I saw a look of pure shock written across his face.

"Rosie?" I grinned.

"Hello Jack," Jack's shell-shocked broke expression turned into a huge grin and laughed. He hugged me tightly, which I returned happily.

"I can't believe you're actually here!" He exclaimed. He let me go and stared me up and down. "Goddamn you've sure changed!"

I slightly laughed and pouted my lip. "Well I hope that's not a bad thing."

"Naw it ain't!" He immediately said when realized what he had said earlier. "You just look so… different. Smell different too- not that it's a bad or nothing, but-" Jack stopped rambling and sighed. I could only chuckle softly. Out of everyone besides Forrest in all of Franklin, I missed Jack the most. He had been the more sensitive one of the Bondurant brothers. He was such a sweet boy- I couldn't believe this was the young man whom he had turned out to be!

"Wait until Howard an' Forrest hear about this." My smile faltered for a moment, but before Jack could notice, I had put it back up again. That was one thing in Chicago that I was glad that I had learn. Putting up some kind of mask so that no one could see who you really were, and how you felt.

"Well I'm sure we'll worry about that once we've crossed that bridge." I told him earnestly, resting my hand against his.

"But look at you! I can't believe that this handsome young man is the same little Jack Bondurant I once knew. I'm sure all of the girls are throwing themselves at you."

Jack smiled a bit and laughed, a light blush glowing on his cheekbones. We talked a little more after that, telling stories about the past and what was going on now. As I listened intently to a funny story about he and Cricket were doing, something in the air changed. It felt stiff and uncomfortable. Wanting to know what changed, my eyes traveled over Jack's shoulder when they suddenly widen. Standing in middle of the room were Howard Bondurant, an old friend of Howard's named Danny Mitchell, and the devil Forrest Bondurant himself. Jack turned around and shouted to them. He took me by the hand to greet them, and then reintroduced me, if you could call it that. Howard and Danny just looked at me, too stunned to say anything. But it didn't me to keep thinking about how they looked so intimidating – especially their ringleader. But what really caught me off was how he looked at me. He appeared shocked, but then it all changed instantly. His gaze held nothing. It drove me mad wanting to know what he thought about me this instant. Was he happy to see me again like Jack was? Probably not. Was he bitter? I absolutely had no doubt about that.

Everything else felt like it was falling away, and it was just him and I. From a distant past, I could faintly hear children laughing and a young boy calling out, "Come on, Rosie!". A small smile graced my lips when I said, "Hello Forrest."

He looked like he didn't know what he was going to say. I didn't think he probably thought that I wasn't going to acknowledged them. He took off his fedora and rested it upon his chest. Finally, I watched him immediately sobered up with just a hum of a grunt.

"Mrs. Rakes." Mrs. Rakes. That lone, simple reply was the only thing that could end whatever trance this was. Sheepishly, I let my head down so that he wouldn't see my smile faltering. I smiled sadly to myself again. I didn't expect anything else from him but this. But it wouldn't deter to what I needed to do.

"I know that I'm probably the last person you wanted to see, but I had to come and tell you something."

I asked Forrest if we could speak where no one could see us. Just in case if any of Deputy Abshire and one of Wardell's men or, heaven forbid, Charley popped in, I had reasoned. So, he had taken us out back into the woods that were behind Blackwater station. I was happy to see him again… though it was still quite uncomfortable. We were both quiet as we walked along the path. I began twisting my wedding ring and engagement ring anxiously. This couldn't go on forever. One of us had to say something, yet it seemed like we were too stubborn to do anything.

"So you married?" I was startled to hear him speak. I looked at him to see him looking at me.

"Yes," I said, smiling a little. I wasn't sure what I was smiling about, or if it was even real.

"Hmph," Was is gruff reply. "Never thought I'd see the day."

"I grew up Forrest," I replied. "I couldn't hold onto that silly notion forever."

I knew that that remark was the wrong reply. I immediately stopped twiddling with my rings, and let my arms fall back naturally. "Your wife though, she's quite lovely."

Forrest looked at me as if I had another head. "Wife? I ain't married."

"But I thought-" I tried to say, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Forrest looked back at the station and asked, "You talkin' about Maggie?"

I didn't say anything and just continued walking, leaving Forrest behind. I heard him catching up and said, "No. Maggie's just here to look after the place while we're gone doing business."

"I see," I mused softly. It got quiet between us again. This is not how I wanted for things to go. I sighed deeply, hoping that this next tactic would get to the point.

"Look Forrest, there's something you should know. Whatever game you're going to play with Charley and Wardell- just don't. It's not going to work."

"So are you just here on behalf of that husband of yours to try and scare us?"

"No!" I remarked, stopping suddenly. "I'm only here to tell you to be careful. I don't understand why you have to act like this."

Forrest looked out into the opening of the woods, and then back to me. "Perhaps for the same reason you find it so damn convenient to meet out here."

When I didn't come up with anything to say, he continued: "Does he even know you're from here?"

I looked away for a moment, remaining quiet. When I looked back, I gave him equal emotionless eyes. "You've seen how Charley is. I wanted to tell him over the years, but I… but I couldn't."

"He's not all bad, you know. He's very intelligent-" I paused for a moment, then laughed to myself. "-though probably too intelligent for his own good."

"I'm not here to tell you what to do," I told him earnestly. "But I know how my husband can be. He won't stop at nothing until he gets what he wants. I'm only asking you to be careful. If not for my sake, then please do it for Jack."

When he frowned at me, I just sighed and began to explain: "Jack told me about what happened to your parents and Emmy. I'm sorry. I knew how much they meant to you. And I know that Jack is grown, but he's still young. He still needs you and Howard, and getting yourself killed because of your bullheaded pride won't help him, or anyone else!"

"If... if you could just pass that along to Howard, then I'll be on my way."

Forrest didn't say anything. He only nodded his head with a grunt. I pursed my lips together and shook my head. I turned around and was about to leave him to gp back to the motel, when I thought of something. I slowly turned back around and looked at him. He looked at me. It wouldn't do much, but I felt the need to tell him.

"You know, while I was living in Chicago, I would often think about this place. Sometimes… I would wish that I could…"

"That you wish you could what?" He asked.

I smiled sadly as I looked at him. "That I wish I could see you again."

I'm not sure what Forrest thought I was going to say, but it certainly wasn't that. He regained his staunch composure with a curt nod of his head. "Now you have."

"And now I have," I nodded my head. "Perhaps... maybe we'll see each other again in town sometime."

"Hmm," Forrest replied. He walked a little closer to me. "You need a ride back?"

To say the least, I was a bit surprised, yet touched by the offer. I shook my head. "No thank you. I'll just walk."

"You sure?"

"I'll be alright. I certainly don't mind the walk. Goodbye Forrest."

"Rose."

It shouldn't have made me that happy to hear him say my name, but it did. Things may have been different between us and the conversation didn't go as I expected, but it didn't matter to me at that moment. He didn't call me Mrs. Rakes or Rosalie when we said goodbye. He called me Rose. As I walked back to the motel, I took out my necklace and held the wooden locket between my fingers. I stroked its smooth exterior as I thought about what happened.

The locket felt so much lighter than it usually did.